Excuses – Why We Make Them
We all do it and are fantastic at selecting from a huge list of excuses that limit our capabilities and gives us permission to not follow through on something that is important but not urgent. It can become a habit. But what is truly behind our excuse-making? Here are the most common reasons.
You are experiencing fear.
The feeling of fear keeps us inside our comfort zone. There are many things we could be fearful of when contemplating a change. It is the unknown. It might be our self doubt, the risks we think we need to take, or not knowing how it will all play out. Some people fear failure, rejection, being judged by others, or fear making mistakes. Some people are even scared of being successful, achieving that goal and having to deal with the comments and envy of others.
These are all uncomfortable feelings – so we choose an excuse to not try from our ready-made list!
Inactivity and familiar patterns get the better of us
We so often feel all fired up when we set ourselves a goal, full of motivation and determination. We aim big, promise ourselves this time we are going to do it….. then routine kicks in, our old patterns of inactivity and our familiar daily behaviours take over, and before we know it, nothing has changed. It just seems easier to stick with what we know – so out comes the excuse list again!
Self doubt
This can come from our own inner self talk, or from what other people say to us when we tell them what we are planning on doing. Before you know it, that little voice in your head is telling you you don’t have what it takes, you will fail, it’s too difficult, you are crazy for even thinking you could do it, it’s too late to even start trying.… It wins and even though a part of you may still want to achieve your goal, these self doubts mean you need to have an excuse to justify your lack of action.
You are not ready
To make any change happen, you need to be ready, both internally and externally. You need to truly know this is the change you want, and be ready to make those key decisions and choices to make it happen. You have to really want it. The power of this want needs to be great enough to overcome the many times when you will feel you want to make an excuse to not progress – and unless you have super-human focus and determination – these times will come.
Another aspect of this is that some people need everything to be perfect before they feel they can start taking steps forward. Having this need to make everything ‘perfect’ before getting started can cause them to procrastinate and not move at all, which creates more excuses and can keep them feeling stuck in a cycle of ‘perfectionism’. You need to be able to take that leap and figure things out along the way.
You are not motivated enough
Sometimes people don’t actually want to achieve their goals because they don’t really want them enough. The thought of stepping out of their comfort zone and striving to progress is less of a driving force than staying where they are. They can convince themselves that what they want isn’t that important to them.
Sometimes people focus on the wrong end point. For example if you are trying to lose weight, focusing on what you want your body to look like may not be as powerful driving force as focusing on the long-term health benefits. Plus the end goal seems so far in the future, it could feel unachievable which can really fuel a lack of motivation.
You don’t have a specific goal
So many people just have vague goals. For example, I want to get fit this year, I want to learn Spanish, I want to change my job…. Vague goals do not get you very far. They need to be specific and measurable. So stating “I am going to go to the gym twice a week” or “I am going to lose 5kg in 6 weeks” or “I am going to do 1 hour of Spanish each week” gives you focus, purpose and an action plan. If your goals are not specific and measurable, it makes it far too easy to come up with excuses.
You compare yourself to others
So often we look at what everybody else is doing and measure ourselves up to see how we compare. If we perceive them to be more successful or further along with their goals than we are, it can knock our confidence and we feel deflated – the perfect state to start making excuses.
You’re set in your ways
You may be so stubborn and set in your ways that you tell yourself you’re unable to change. But when you think about it, is it that you can’t change or you don’t want to change? Yes, making changes takes effort and commitment and it can be very difficult.
If you just become defeated about an aspect of your personality without even attempting to change it, then you are just making excuses to stay complacent.
We can be extremely creative when it comes to making excuses and amazing at convincing ourselves that they are true. But they all have the same thing in common – the more you make them, the harder it is to get things done and they become your reality. A reality in which you are too afraid to try, too lazy to take action, or too easily distracted by other more ‘fun’ activities and they win.
IF you want to make changes to your life, achieve some personal goals, and you are serious about it because it is important to you, you need to stop with the excuses and start with the action!
